ALL THIS IS CRAP

I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE

I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE

I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THEM

FROM THE FUCKING SHIT THAT GOES ON EVERY GODDAMN DAY

IT'S HOME . I'M SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAFE CARED FOR LOVED HAPPY

i feel NONE OF THEM WHEN I'M HERE

look, i'm tired of shouting
over a blog, and at home
and i really cant be fucking arsed to fight anymore, the same stupid, childish arguments over and over, and over again for fucks sake.

this had gotten to the point where i dont even know my own mum anymore. my stepdad is really great. but my mum is like dealing with fucking hitler.

say i'm harsh, i dont care. i fucking don't bloody care,

when i had/have problems, my mum never understands. she thinks it's all because i want to go against her. she was horrible to me when i needed help the most.

i got better because of one person. and i want to thank that person for making me feel like i could do it. he makes me feel on top of the world. even when i'm at the bottom.

naturally, i turn to my friends and him for support, my family knows nothing about me
i can't tell them anything, and everyone else knows everything about me and i can tell them anything.

i'm so dependant on those people. they're the reason i think "it's ok, just block out all the bad shit at home, you have school tomorrow/you're going into town, you'll see your friends and him, everything will be ok," "no matter what happens, nothing could ever be that bad."

and its true, i do think like that.

it's just...i can't imagine life without

.

i cant.

xx