from the bedroom of Hattie..

i'm currently at hattiees and we are having a great time, and she's just put tattoos all over my arm :P

goodday mate ;) tee hee heee loveee

^^ that was hattieee :P

seeeyouuuuuuuxxxxx

^_^

god i feel absolutely amazing right now. everything's great, everything is perfect, everything is amazing, and i feel so high on lifee

being with him...i feel so safe, cosy, and like everything bad is swept away and completely forgotten about. and just talking to him makes me feel a billion times a billion and infinity plus one times better.

call me soppy, but quite frankly, i don't care anymore.

i'm happy.

xxxxx

OMG

it is the morning of.........a day! :D

you know what? i hate last friday. last friday should jump up its ass and die. diediediediediedie

most haunted last night was briiiiiiliaaaaaaaant :D [they used a tesla (?) coil!!!!] gah

imightgoandwritesomemoreofmysong...butidontknowwhattowriterightnowbuti'lltryanyhow.

...
gah i just completely forgot about this blog entry and went on looking at other shit on the internet lmao


right...i actually have nothing to say, so i really don't know why i actually started this blog post....

urm....i'maa seeyoulaterrrrrrrrrs?



xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

im feeling really weird

ive just finished, well not finished i still have a fucking LOAD to do but it's gotten to the point where i just REEALLY cant be FUCKING arsed to do ANY MORE of the FUCKING homework our stupid FUCKING mo'fo of a teacher has FUCKING set us to FUCKING FINISH during the FUCKING half term FUCK IT, *breath*, my FUCKING ART COURSEWORK HOMEWORK SHITE and yeah, i just need to relax on the computer for a bit.

i'm feeling kinda nervous. but i suppose...ina way its a good type of nervous, yeah.

gah i just want to shout can i shout? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKERS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SCREW YOU BITCHES FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU


FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


right, that wasn't aimed at ANYONE of the awesome people in my life, mainly at the shitty homework, and just nothing relaly. i dont even know why, i just felt like i wanted to shout.

or type agressively.


.....i've just realised right now, i'm actually...happy.

...and now i feel shit again wtf

well not shit, but not ah fuck it i dunno

i am happy. i feel happier than i have for a long time, and tbh its all down to one person

xxxxx

can't think of a subject

lol
SLEEPOVER WAS EPIC! IMMENSE! FUCKING AWESOME!

woooooo, so many fucking hilarious and ... FUCKING WEIRD things happened in town yesterday AND on the sleepover. hahahahahah xD

i'm going to the Tate Modern museum tomoorrrow :D funfunfun loool
but i'll be out the whole day....:S and OMG

robertyyyyyyyneeesss is coming bacck from berlininininininimun tomorrow! *skip*

ya

and alsoo
two days i have to look forward tooo

....one maybe more than the other

mmhm:)

xxxxxxx peace out bitches

hullloo

OMG steve stop wanking the puppets. and the stalker guy O.O god he was creepy.......

loool vomit jelly beans! ewwwwwwww!!! "where's the bin?"

hahhhahahhah

i'm with kayteiii and we is having a good timeees bloud? *blud

lol

gahhh gosh toast

OMG yeah we're gna make

..

..

..
..

CHICKEN TOAST!!!!!! AND write up the recipe and everythinngggg!!! :d
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXSEEYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUxxxxxxx

i love this

i'm cool i'm great.... i'm a jerk

that day, never came. that day, never comes. I'm not letting go. I keep, hanging on.

that day, never came.

all that shizzzz...

and damn i reeally want a cheeseburger... actualy no i relaly fucking dont.

TOWN TOMORROW!!!!!!

and then a schlafennnoperr with Kayteei afterwards bludd :)

Roberty and his familiieee are offf to berlinininininimun tomorroww!! i hopess they has good timeeee!

woooooooooooooo im kinda ina hyper mooood.....

Woooo rock on bitches


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyouuuuxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

a lot of shizzz

A lot of shizz blud, A LOTT OF SHIZZZZZZZZZ

lol, i dunno, DONT ASK ME BITCH

meaheaheha.

I reeeeeeeeeally love cookies, i had some todayyy and teaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
why, yes, i would like some margarine with that.

I phoned Rob today teheheh was a reeeally random but funny phone call xD even though the phones went weird and pissed up lol

theyre off to the land of berrrlininininness on mondayy, till the day of wednes *:O*

Rob is an irish paedophile (Y) HEHE xD

went to town today at about 4 thirty ishh with my pahruntss (bleh) and went to da kassell blud, and den we went to da heiy sstreet init and goht sum plums yer m8.

i also got... HAIRSPRAY

from tescho's HAHAHOHO

right, who spiked me tea?

currently me is writing song for moosik

I have the beginning so far, but decided to scrap the verse and chorus that i had because they were utterrr shiieet.

I'm loooking forward to writing lyrics tho :3

teeei heiiiiiii

i have quite a decent pretty awesome cool banging slapping wicked sick goddamn brilliant honkey donkkey Half-Term lined up :D

Rock On


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

seeeyouuuuu peoples monday! xxxxxxxx

i have blood on my shirt.

....aand all of my school clothes. -_-' lol.
I got wacked in the head with a hockey stick today! Something like this has never happened to me, and i think i handled it pretty ok... lol
Basically, me, Hattie, Louise, and Becca were sitting out from P.E. because we all weren't doing P.E. obv, but i'd forgotten my P.E. kit, so yeah. And then we were asked to go help get the balls out the bushes (seriously Hattie when you said that to the teacher i had to HOLD in my laughter xDDDD bloody hell lol :L) with the help of hockey sticks, who are now my fucking enemy BASTARDS!
lol
So yeah, we were having a good time for the first twenty minutes, then Louise was swinging her hockey stick to try and knock berries out the tree, but accidentally swung too hard and smacked me right on the head with it lmao
I thought, gah shit, another whack on the head. But then i felt warm...liquid...running down....so, as the first thing i felt was my nose, and then seeing the blood on my hands, i automatically thought I was having a nose bleed, so i said "Louise you gave me a fucking nose bleed!!" but then i felt warmth on my head...so i felt my head...and it wasn't a nosebleed.
"Caz, it's not a nosebleed, it's your fucking head!"

SO yeah, i walked, blood literally pouring down my face, onto my hands, dripping, over to the fieldy area bit, and then i sat down, and hattie and louise i think got the teacher. Either it was that, or they just saw a bloodied face and came over lol.

So i sat down on the grass, and the blood just kept coming out, and dripping onto ALL my clothes, and running down my arm. I wasn't too disturbed by it tbh....probably because ive seen too many horror movies for my own good...but i've just never seen so much blood, coming out of ME.

.....actually no wait i wont say it .

And yeah lol, so hattie was sitting there, louise too, and becca tasted my blood. She said "You have rreaally sweet blood!" o.o WHAT THE FUCK?!

lol!

then, my head was bandaged up, and i remember asking over and OVER again, am i going to pass out?? have i cracked my head open??

Both the answers to those questions was no, so that was good xD

Then i walked back to the office with hattie and louise, and becca, and kelly and a teacher i think. but kelly had to go, and i sat with hattie and louise in the office for a bit whilst i waited for my parents to come .

Then my parents came, and they took me to.....A&E at the.....Royal Surrey Hospital

(Y)

lol.

where i was checked...asked questions.... and had my scalp glued, by two very nice nurses:)

there were other bloodied people in A&E too lmao...it looked like a zombie movie. xD
was fine though

Mum bought me two chocolate bars too:)

SO here i amm, with a glued scalp, that doesn't actually look THAT bad! lol! and i'm feeling actually completely fine now yay:D

going to school tomorrow:) aaaaand TOWN, aaaaaaand BOWLING :Dxxxx

seeyouuuuuuuxxxxxxx

Smouldering Eyes

Your smouldering eyes
Caused her demise
Tried to diguise
The feelings inside
For this she'd lied
For this you'd lied
And that one dark evening
She died inside
But then you tried
You just couldn't hide
You couldn't diguise
The feelings inside
You said your words
And took her hand
Forevermore
Together you'll stand
Your gentle embrace
Makes her feel safe
The way your hair feels
Against her face
You were the one
Since she was young
It's a shame
You'd lost your tongue
All this time
She never knew
All this time
She grew fonder of you
And every time she feels like crying
When she thinks of you
She feels like flying
Keep hold of her hand
Don't let go
You're beautiful, so beautiful
You know
With your smouldering eyes
She can survive
And she
Is me in disguise.

mountanus.

gueeess whaaaaat...



I've just finished my english essay Yayy! *dances* wooo, :D 1,592 words though o.o

LOOOL



ah well, i think i did well :)



I remembered lots of funny things today, like, i think it was last year...year 9, i was in Geography, and talking to Robert and people, and he was telling us how to spell "Mountainous", and when he explained how to spell it, he said "Mount Anus", to show us how to spell it, but he didn't realise what he'd actually said xD It was fucking hilarious. When i remembered it today, i seriously couldn't stop laughing.



I love remembering little things like that, things that made me laugh, things that made me happy



gah, when I think about it, SO much has happened these past years, ESPECIALLY this year. And.. finally things are getting back together, and things are going the best it ever has for me.



OMG AND i remembered this penguin thing today from year 7 apparently! i swearr it was from year 8...ah well xD Eloise, you'll know what I mean :P:P

English last period today was so fucking hilarious.


xD

mmm, and town fridayy! should be preety damn aweshum.

^_^

i'l seeyyoulaterr aligator :3

i'maa...go now teh heh


byeeeexxxxxxx

Today has been, a brilliant day.

Today has actually been a pretty damn awesome day! School was amaaaaazing, lessons were amaaaaaaaaazing, and break+/lunch were amaaaaaazing. P: :P :3 loool.

Wooopiedoo, lol, i've just done some of my esssayyy, and so far i've done 949 words. *clap clap*
yippity too tah hey. lol. Meh, and i've still got two more points to write, AND the conclusion -_-' Ah well, i think it's pretty ok so far. A bit tricky at times, but I still have the whole year to improve apparently so thats goooood.

*IT'S NIICE.* (lol, say it with a Borat accent or it'll just be stupid.)

Alsoo, i'm getting my computer and my tv back after next week! hallelujah!

OMG AND I'M HAVING PIZZA TONIGHT

Jeeeezzzz llife's goooooodd :D pizza pizza piizzaa pizza pizza piiizza piza piza piza pza pza papa paapaza p.

looooooool

I think i'ma take a break from the essay now, (technically i already am nerhahaha) but, i will anyways, ive been working for a ...fair amount of time :)

I feel good, da na na na na na na. Anyone else feel good? Leave a comment :D Lol

Hmm....dont have much to ssay.....

I'll seeyou guys! xxx

xxx

nanu

LOOOOOL NANUU

ahem. anyways :P

things have been.....weird recently. well, stuff at home. In three words?

Home's been shit.

its gotten to the point where i literally dread coming home after school. i get a sinking feeling the moment i remember i've got to go home. And i get a sinking feeling when it gets nearer to 3:30.

i'm sick of feeling forced. i'm sick of feeling lower than everyone else. i'm sick of feeling like i don't have a mum. i'm sick of feeling scared

schools the escape, i just, as geeky as this may sound, (i dont care to be quite frank), i love school, because i don't feel unsafe all the time, i don't feel like i owe everyone something, when i've done nothing wrong to actually be treated like i am, and i just feel so happy because i get to be with my friends and that amazing someone.

he makes me feel safe. he makes me feel wanted, like i'm alive. his embrace heals me that day, and makes me feel like nothing will be that bad, because i have him.

yesterday, friday, was probably the best day i've had so far. I can't really single out one particular reason as to why it was, but it was a mixture of amazing things. i was also allowed out to club yesterday :)

things have been....better, i suppose, for the last two days. today's been okay, things are..they feel strangely really good right now.. and i'm looking forward to tomorrow soo much.

but after this brilliant weekend, the spiral will begin again on monday. all, over, again

oh btw, hey who's going to town next friday?

anyways.

at night, almost every night i lie there, and i just think about everything, what's happened in that day, what's happened recently, who's being a bitch, etc etc, and i kind of..analyse (if that's the right word to use...) it all
It's weird the stuff i come up with.... lol.

my friends are seriously, so amazing. everybody is so different, and so special, but we all share an amazing bond with eachother, i love it so much.

some good news... i'm practically ungrounded!!! I'm allowed out during half term, allowed to club next friday too :) score xD lol

i'm going to have some chocolate cake later, yum, i seirously love chocolatecake :D

life's been hard. but i'm lucky enough to have things that make it easier.
the "relaxation time" in music yesterday was really amazing, it's just so awesome to just...zone out, and just..be. I really loved it :)

i bought "The Crucible" today by arthur miller , and some hairspray for tomorrow! Mwahahaha...

yeahhh. #

hmm...this blog kinda showed my rollercoaster of moods. yesterday i was suddenly feeling so crap, shit, upset, and pretty ...depressed :S during Science, even though i was laughing a lot...but yeah, i felt a bit weird during music still, but the relaxation time reeallly helped with that :)

i'd also had the HPV jab yeschterydaayy... it actually wasn't bad at all! i was chatting to the person who was giving me the jab like she was my friend, and i was actually...smiling when i got it O.O but not because im some weirdo who enjoys having a sharp, thin pointy stick shoved into their arm.... >.> It just ached a little after, and probably caused my pissedoffnessnessss.

so yeah, theres the update on my recent lifee............

so yeah

to all my friends, thank you for being there for me, you guys are so amazing.
and to him, thanks for making me feel so safe. and you're everything, to me.




tomorrow.....FRIGHT NIGHT!


boo!

xD

seeyaaaxxxx