so...

er...haven't posted in what has actually been a long fucking time.

well, guilfest was good, gig last thursday was goood, davids an arsehole PEENARSE, band practice is going well, made a few new friends, school is over, currently drinking apple and blackcurrent squash whilst sitting next to summer :D, got stupidly pissed yesterday -_-' ( i know, i KNOW), got a 4mm stretcher, lots of art homework i need to do at some point, and going on holiday for 3 and a half fucking weeks which will be kinda boring tbh, and er...thats about it from my life

Ooh, and going to the V&A and CAMDEN tomorrow!
fuck yes motherfuckers.



xxxxxxxx

help me.

please, help me.

please, take this pain away. i've never felt so bad. i've haven't felt this low, this ache for two/three years. and it's back.

you brought it back. i never forgave you, and now i never will.


but you, i need you.

please, take my hand, take me away, and we'll run away, we'll leave all this behind, and it'll just be us, our hearts, our love, and just our eyes seeing only eachother, for eternity.

i need you, so much i feel like my insides are being ripped apart.

but

right now, you only exist in my head.


you're out there. you are.

but when will you be in here? in here with me.

look at the mess you've made

just let me curl up in a ball, see the sun go down, and slowly leave all of this behind.



so this is the end, of you and me, we had a good run, now i'm setting you free, to do as you want, to do as you please, without me.

this

we stare at broken clocks

the hands don't turn anymore

the day turns into night



if only sorrow could build a staircase,
or tears could show the way,
we would climb our way to heaven,
and bring him home again

we would do anything to bring him back to you,
we would do anything to end what you're going through,
if only sorrow could build a staircase,
or tears could show the way,
i would climb my way to heaven,
and bring him home again,
i would do anything to bring him back to you,
because if you got him back,
i would get back the friend that i once knew.

even though i'm grounded.

even though i feel like shit.

even though i'm not supposed to be here and on this computer right now typing this.

even though i thought other things were fine again but still fucked up

royally.

even though i feel like i could just step out the front door at 3am and just run away and never come back.

even though i don't feel i can do this anymore.

even though my mum doesn't give two shits about me.

even though my mum says things that make me panic until i can't breathe.



i still want to wake up tommorrow and see your eyes.

{if sorrow could build a staircase, or tears could show the way}

damn, today was a lovely day.

i guess things will get better.


things are getting better.


xxxxxxxxxxxxx

because i just fucking need it.

new me, new everything.


fresh start.