things are looking up things are looking up things are really looking uuuuuuuuuuppppppppp

i have this really awesome skull candle thing that i got from spain. it's like, a skull replica, but with a place to put a candle in it. i lit it today and just kinda...sat in my room with only the light from the candle, (and my computer, obv. lmfao.) and it was..quite nice actually.

i haven't really written much in detail about how the past few days or weeks have been, ive just written random words really haven't i? :x

well, i'm not going to lie and say it's been good. it hasn't.

to be honest, i really don't know who i am anymore. i just don't feel...right, anymore, you know? oh hell, what do you know.

take away one part of me, and i lose the rest. i lost the rest. it seems like so long ago that i can't even remember what the rest was.

they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i'm not getting stronger. to be honest, i feel myself getting weaker.

there you go, you're gone for good.

i miss it. too much
xxx

casting my mind back to how things used to be is so painful it's almost unreal.

THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

That was the most fucking epicly brilliant and EPIC weekend of my fucking life.

The rave around Croydon was fucking notch xD

fucking awesome.

i love you kelly xxxxxx

such a fucking brilliant time :D
xxxxxx

smirnoff ice

dubstep

kelly

hoola hoops

penis

salad fingers

your mind is swollen, from months of thought without release.

they've taken their toll on you.




to damn fucking right.


I WANT TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD

maybe...

Do you know what my mum said to me tonight?

She said that I should be dead.

She's said it so many times, and now I'm thinking so what if I was.

i don't want this anymore. i don't want anxiety, i don't want loss, i don't want any of this anymore. i want to go back to a time where it was sunny and life was full of rebellious, carefree and happy fun. but that's not going to happen, so i don't see the point anymore.

eating ice cream. fml.

i want a fucking rooster.

chickenpenis.

sounds like your mum, on penis.

i don't want toast.

OH get some toast or i won't be your best friend.

10,000,000,000 penises.

*chuckles*.... that wasn't my question.

ooh it came into my mind.

zingy

zingziggyzangazangazangziggyziggyzangziggyzagazazangazangzoong

chamiillionaire

*LOL*

Can I have my heart back now? because this really hurts.

Nothing's changed. Still, nothing has changed. Only things have been added. The mask always comes off when i'm alone.

cheese fucking toasties man.




god the dares today were fucking hilarious. :D


xxxxx

i'm at hattie'ssssssssssssssssssssssss

hellloooooooooooooo

it's currently 4 minutes to 3 in the morning...
hahahh

we got peoples numbers today!!

harry longman is hatties fit friend

and ross west is fucking hot

and nice;)

i love hattie and her bum

cheeeeeeeeese

i fancy........................................................

and ross LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL


bye bithces
xxx

i'm not stupid.

..what are these mixed messages? what are you trying to do?

whoa.....someone's made an entrance into my life.


.......................................................................

The last something that meant anything.

I'm hopeless, but hoping.

I've gotten so used to pretending to be happy I don't know who I am anymore. I've gotten so used to holding my tears in that when I let them out I can't control when they stop anymore. Nothing, is easy anymore. Getting out of bed for me now is like telling an alcoholic to exchange their Whisky for water. Or like giving someone your heart, but only getting a few pieces back. I tried everything. I gave it my all. I gave it every single part of me, and I can't get the pieces back. I can't get it back.

all i taste now is salty tears.

lie

A piece of advice,

Never, ever, give your heart to someone.

Who are you to tell me, that I am less than what I should be?

I don't need to listen to the list of things I should do.

You don't define me.

Who are you to tell me, that I'm less than what I should be?

once again, i find myself standing in the rain.

A random compilation of crap.

when can I find myself again?

you tell me. you fucking tell me.





town was absolutely brilliant yesterday. no-one can really understand. well, that's a bit cynical but, what I mean is, is that I'm the one that actually has to live with myself, and live with everything that gets slung my way.

do you even remember...

?


and what happened to...

where were...


that was barely even a sentence.


i know.


ITS OK TO FUCKING...

STOP BEING SO..



what's up with...



you?


xxxxx

o.o?!

Seriously, where the fuck is everyone?!