i'm back to square one again.

it hit me yesterday.

and i realised it today.

someone told me to trust what my heart says in this situation. and somehow i was afraid of that.

i'm stuck in the middle, but i know.

a load of bollocks

hey!

so last week was half term. it went by really ...quickly. and...awiuovyrb4aqb4bstrnryndtymdrtynjrmzsotbiegyrvbyq3IBH8Q2B5

MEH.
mehmehmehmehmehmeh


anyways

i dont even know what i DID. apart from town trips, which were bloody immense.

i also seemed to have been neglecting my diary quite a lot. i havent relaly felt like myself at all really lately, and i guess thats kinda taken away my usual need to write everything thats happened on the day and my thoughts down into my diary.

something really confusing just happened...

maybe.



4567. today.


back to normal tomorrow.


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxbye

oh,fuckoff.

i'mafuckingwasteofspace.ivehurtanotherperson.i'mprobablygoingtolosehimnow.whythefuckwouldthatotherpersoneverlikeme.anditurneveryoneawayatsomepoint.everyoneisgoingtoleaveme,sohow'saboutigetoutfirst.

shestillloveshim
she'sfallinginlovewithhim
she'sfalleninlovewithhim
she'snotsosureabouthim
shethinksshe'sgettingoverhim
she'snowdreamingabouthiminsteadofhim
shewon'tadmittothefactthatshestillloveshim
andhewon'tadmittothefactthathelikesher
...butwillheevertellmehelikesme?

idontcarewhatyouthinkofme,you'remybestfriend,andpleasedon'tleavemenow,youdon'tknowit,butineedyouthemostnow.

Thefunnythingis,isthatyouhavenoidea.

foreverybrokenheartinhere
silent.envious.you.maybe.obstacles.underestimated.romance.

you'vebuiltupaworldofmagic,becauseyourreallifeistragic.
humble.agonising.romantic.valentine.everlasting.you.

I'm not even going to say anything. ever.

birthdaybirthdaybirthdaybirthdayyayyayyayyayayayyayaayyyayayyyyyyaaydoafvyw8r4vyo5ba437yw5689w536n0845nnw

OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH

IN LESS THAN TWO HOURS

AN HOUR AND 40 MINUTES TO BE EXACTAMUNDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I, CAROLINE ARCHER, WILL BE FIFFTTTEEEEEEEEEENNNNN :D:D:D:D:D

Gah i remember this last year, the same feeling of turning fourteen xD in less than two hours or something hehehhehe xDD


TOMMORROWW is going to be SO FUCKING NOTCHHH

Townageee from 11:30am till 5:30pm with ALL MY LOVELEH MAYTEEESS, and then....



dun

dun
dun
dun
dundundudnndasundaudnendaund


(the font size thingy wont work...so fuck that....gah D:)


IT WILL BE ZE....



AFTER-PARTAYY!!!!


WOOOOOOOOOo


Lmao i went shopping today and got fuck loads of foooooood :D:D:D

You name it, i'll probably have it tbh lmfao!!

Quiche :)

YUM


AND DOUGHNUTS


YES FUCKING DOUGHNUTS!!


GAHH TOMORROR WIWLLL BE NOOOOTCHHHH



WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


fifteenfifteenfifteennnnn


GAHGAHGAHGAH

Life is amaaaaaaaaaaaazing right now. god. i can't believe i've just written that. i'm not going to delete it, because i ...think i mean it right now :)

xxxxxxxxx




GAHHHH TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:D:D:D:D:D

xxxxxxx

Then I woke up. And my world burnt to a crisp right in front of my swollen eyes.

i don't write on here like i used to

don't you remember? anything? ....at all?

i wish i could fill this void, this space, with what i used to be able to fill it with.

you don't laugh the way you used to

new day, new month.

new time of my life.



or whatever shit like that.


last month seemed like a decade

why can't things change?