And a little bit of fucking low...

You know, it never matters who i'm with, or who I think about, i never feel like i'm good enough to be with them. Never. I mean, I'm not going to say i'm the ugliest person in the world, because I know i'm not, and i'm not meaning to sound vain, but I know I have a fair share of looks I suppose. And I'm not going to say that i'm not talented. I know for a fact i've passed grade 8 for piano, and I know for a fact that maybe i do have a talent in art. But they don't help when it comes to liking someone. I really find it hard to believe that someone could want me as their girlfriend. That someone could ever call me, beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, lovely, or even say those three fucking words that we all take for granted, "I love you."
I know i've just gotten out of a relationship, but these feelings have been fucking me up for too long.
Whenever I see someone who I think is "hot" on the street, I see the girl beside them, and I just feel like I really, really suck.
Sometimes when I'm out with my mates, some people pass us, and they don't even glance at me, instead they stare at the pretty girls around me. I don't mean to sound like a jealous bitch, because the last thing I want is to stir up shit. And i love my friends so fucking much, they're my real family.
Sometimes, the thought of some perfect person crosses my mind, and it's nice to think about it at first, then I just realise I'll never get someone like that. They all fall for the blonde, gorgeous, skinny, preppy, big-haired, funny, brilliant girls, right?


You know, I wish things would go completely my way for once. But I know that's too much to ask. Life ain't a fucking fairytale, is it.




going out to town again with Kayteii tomorrow, that should be really, really good.
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